#and on the journey he gets a crush

[buttmuncher77]

pre-springlocked jack n dave in 1973. cant take em anywhere!

[royaltea000]

YO! Being a drawing, what’s there to be afraid of!

[aladywithabat]

cat king dump>:3

[lovecolibri]

The growth from K saying her and Evan didn't work out because it's hard telling and showing someone how much you love them and having them not believe you, to seeing Evan a couple years after that breakup tell Sam that it was an unfair assumption of him to make that she wasn't being sincere and genuine in her kindness to him, and that he used to think love would fix things but that alone isn't enough and he does need to work on himself and accepting the love his friends give to him.

And even then!! The growth isn't done because he's still trying to adjust HIMSELF into making sense in other people's lives, instead of adjusting his THINKING to accept the love freely given, which Sam reminds him of. It's just so beautiful to see the journey and it's not complete yet, Evan still has some work to do, but he's not doing it alone and it will ultimately be so healing for him 😭😭😭

[feli-052]

Love struggles

[fountainpenguin]

Things that happened in Martyn & Cleo Double Life canon:

Cleo hoping to find her soulmate and start a life with them

Cleo dumping Martyn without giving him a chance to explain his side of the story, but hearing him out when he comes to her later

Martyn watching Cleo through his spyglass and telling the audience she seems safe and happy even though he thinks it's weird she's outside at night

Martyn, after he's had time to consider how he wants to play this, spinning a story about trying to be a provider for her and Cleo explaining that she wanted him, not things

Cleo not being remotely impressed by the "I was providing" sob story, lol

Martyn calling Cleo selfish for choosing to be with Scott because she's supposed to be HIS soulmate and he wants a partner

Cleo willing to forgive Martyn if he meets them halfway

Martyn refusing to meet them halfway because he doesn't think he did anything wrong

Martyn screaming about how Cleo's building bridges with Scott but "When will she think about mending our bridges???"

Martyn explaining to Cleo that he doesn't understand why his Session 1 actions bothered them

Martyn centering his character arc and roleplay on trying to win Cleo back without actually apologizing

Cleo giving Martyn a flower and stating that if he loses it, she'll be real cross with him

Cleo chasing Martyn out of her yard because he tried to put an HOA sign on her base and she wanted to make it clear that she wasn't associated with them and their hate for his base (even though she does think his heart base is strange)

Martyn attacking Cleo after she said attacking is a form of affection to her

Cleo setting boundaries with Martyn and explaining what he can do to get her back

Cleo sighing when Scar set her up on a date with Martyn, but taking the chance to talk to him instead of walking out

Cleo genuinely wanting Martyn in her alliance

Martyn and Cleo giggling constantly when they chat

Scar asking if Martyn wanted him to play a romantic music disc for him and Cleo (and Martyn getting excited and saying yes)

Martyn offering to take Cleo's armor and weapons to the deep dark so he can enchant them and bring them back while she stays safe

Cleo gifting Martyn diamonds, expecting nothing in return but not wanting him to die from lack of a good sword

Martyn and Cleo forming a secret alliance that allows Cleo to live with Scott while being on good terms with Martyn

Martyn expressing frustration that Cleo wants to keep this alliance secret because he wants them to be public allies; Cleo softly shushes him when people approach and might overhear

Martyn telling Cleo that she's putting out a lot of mixed signals because she keeps reeling him in and then pushing him away, claiming he is very confused about where he stands with her

Martyn teasing Cleo by punching her off a cliff and accidentally killing her and feeling so bad about it that he apologizes profusely despite roleplaying as someone who refused to apologize for Session 1

Martyn and Cleo immediately threatening Bdubs together when he said hi to them while they were hanging out, sdkfj

Martyn genuinely apologizing to Pearl for dumping her after Session 1

Martyn hiding under Cleo's bed while she defends him from an enderman attack

Cleo offering to let Martyn move into her house after Etho and Joel grief his base; Martyn saying he might take her up on that

Cleo and Martyn agreeing to move out and base together at Box

Cleo trusting Martyn with the location and resources of her red life base

Martyn rushing to Cleo's aid in the deep dark and trying to turn everyone against him instead

Cleo responding to Martyn's panicked shouts for her to eat by opening her inventory to get food (and drowning because she forgot she was in water)

Cleo hanging back and letting Martyn attack Scott while she does nothing to stop him from doing so, implying as much as she likes Scott, she won't kill Martyn (and herself) for him (and/or she trusted Scott to handle himself even though he ran away while Martyn was shooting at him)

Things that did not happen:

Cleo unwilling to forgive Martyn or consider being his friend and partner

Martyn and Cleo hating each other

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk

[batsplat]

in the early days of his career, obviously before casey entered motogp, i wonder if he ever lay in bed before falling asleep, imagining scenarios of him and vale on the track…

https://www.tumblr.com/kwisatzworld/768392840044789760/speaking-of-meeting-with-all-the-colleagues

(link) unfortunately this ask only reached me after I'd already answered and scheduled the previous post, feat. embedded video and transcription, so those are 10-15 minutes of my life I'm not getting back. alas, we live and we learn

but actually, y'know what, it's been long enough since I've brought most of this stuff up... let's do a quick round up of the state of play with regards to young!casey's admiration of valentino. we know they shared some pre-2006 pressers (three pixel screenshot on the left is from assen 2004):

and here's casey chatting to valentino's crew chief jb while watching valentino, who's celebrating one of his many victories in 2005:

rocking up to one of valentino's podiums and chatting to his crew chief?? noticing. perceiving. thinking. ofc paddock gossip held that if valentino were to swan off to f1, jb might have looked to link up with the promising young australian kid. it was also rumoured that jb was interested in getting casey to yamaha, though that obviously didn't end up panning out (whether by valentino's hand or not)

and as extra confirmation that valentino and casey had a rapport of some kind during casey's year in 250cc (the phrase 'except maybe for one or two riders' is doing so much heavy lifting it would make atlas wince):

we also know that casey has been following valentino "with admiration" since 1996-97 (which would still actually be when casey was living in australia - casey's family moved to britain in january of 2000):

y'know that recurring theme of casey talking about something valentino has done and generalising it to 'europeans'? or talking about european attitudes/behaviours and it sounds like he's literally just talking about valentino? or that thing he does sometimes where he's seemingly projecting general feelings of cultural alienation + homesickness on the valentino relationship? well, maybe that's what happens if you're watching this freak as an eleven-year-old in australia and are already beginning to idolise him - we've all seen 125cc valentino, he's going to leave an impression. accidentally imprinted himself effectively enough on baby!casey's brain he became synonymous with casey's internal schema of europeans. all in a day's work

and of course we can bring in what casey has said in general over the years about his respect/admiration for valentino:

(think it's always key to note with the autobiography that it was written at the lowest possible point of the vale/casey relationship - and some of casey's rhetoric inevitably reflects the immediacy of his emotions at the time)

of particular interest I feel is what he said about 2006 - that his respect had grown, that "at that moment I thought he was someone almost impossible to beat". obviously this is kind of a funny thing to say given that valentino rather memorably did not win the 2006 title, but you know what he means - on merit, valentino was the best rider that year and even getting it to a final round decider would have felt like a crazy accomplishment at certain stages of the season. the whole thing thing made valentino even more impressive in casey's eyes (which may be why casey was watching back the title decider and concluding valentino had been sabotaged by Big America)

as a little bonus, let's also quickly bring in some more documentation of their 2006 on-track encounters (plus a cameo from catalunya 2007):

how much of this is casey retroactively forming this narrative about 2006 vs stuff he already felt strongly at the time - who knows. but to return to casey's early assessment of valentino as a rider... I'll say it, I think it's very theoretically possible to be a fan of valentino ONLY because of what a great rider he is but... casey's only human. "great sportsman" "looked up to and aspired to be" "the sort of people I wanted to become like"... this isn't just about valentino winning a lot of races. I refuse to believe an eleven year old is watching 125cc valentino and only making notes on his corner entry technique, come on. though speaking of - casey saying in 2021 he thinks motogp would be better with valentino at the front of the field!! because at the end of the day, he isn't wholly opposed to valentino's particular brand of fun. he enjoys watching valentino even when he doesn't always like competing with him

and... well. to understand young casey, it's crucial you never forget just how much pressure he was under, how terrified he was of failing, how he had this immense burden on his shoulders. I agree with mr motomatters on this (and also here, plus here) --

-- like it was unfair and it was unbearable. and I think when you're in a situation like that, you have to tell yourself it's going to be worth it. casey feels like this had never been his dream, that it was his parents' dream - but he had been convinced that he wanted this, even if by his late teenage years he was beginning to doubt it (x, x). he had to believe there would be light at the end of the tunnel... that at the end of all of this, the political machinations would stop, the financial insecurity would fade - and everyone would give him the credit he deserved. that everyone would acknowledge how good he was. he had an image of his head of a version of the sport that never existed - that could never exist unless the world was a very different place indeed - but he needed to have that image to keep himself going during all the hardship and toil and turmoil. and in the midst of all that, the most prominent face of the sport (certainly after the retirement of his other hero, doohan) was a bloke who made riding look like so, so much fun. who always looked like he was having a fantastic time racing. if you're a teenager in that situation, don't you think you might start associating valentino with your hope for what the sport might one day do for you? how can you not look at what valentino was doing and hope your life might end up looking a bit more like that? not exactly the same - casey was always clear on how he didn't want to become the next valentino rossi. that's not who he was. but just... just fun. just that

and he arrives at the pinnacle of the sport and he's winning and he's enjoying his success... but he's still not happy. obviously the job security and the financial security will have made a massive difference, of course things are far better now. but you can have a secure job and a stable income and essentially be winning in all the ways that matter... and it still might not be enough to magically dispel your malaise. it probably won't be. you can still be stressed and frustrated and lonely... you won't just be fixed. all the hardship casey has gone through to get to where he was could not suddenly be erased - and he held the sport to a standard it was never going to meet. at the end of the day, if we're being honest with ourselves, valentino's behaviour towards casey ranks well outside of the top ten causes for casey's discontent in 2007. valentino cools off towards casey because he is a title rival - which casey recognises to some degree, but that doesn't mean he could accept it. what valentino does that year falls entirely within the realm of completely normal behaviour of a top level professional competitor (albeit one who indirectly benefited from the entire sport already adoring him)... it takes until laguna 2008 for valentino to meaningfully cross any line with his conduct - and if anything he's still perfectly willing to lay it on thick where the interpersonal charm is concerned in the run-up to that race. no wonder, then, that laguna feels like such a monumental betrayal. valentino might not have been the root cause for casey's relative misery, but he was certainly the most easily identifiable face of it. just like valentino may have once represented casey's hope, so now he symbolised casey's disappointment and disillusionment (further discussed here)

so where does all of this leave us... well, you're right, anon. casey at last got to "share the track with him in an enjoyable way", something he says he "would have wanted to do" in his early career... whether he's talking about competing with him in motogp in a way that could actually be FUN for him, or whether he's thinking of this kind of out-of-paddock leisure time activity... tbh, maybe there even was an element of wanting the latter - hardly unheard of back in the day, cf valentino and sete training together in 1998 at kr sr's ranch. and there's no particular reason why something like qatar 2007 wouldn't have been an enjoyable experience to casey, given he himself gave glowing reviews of valentino's post-race conduct on that particular occasion. (or indeed something like catalunya 2007, for all casey's insistence that he didn't even particularly rate his own performance in that race... it's possible to make yourself miserable even when everyone's praising you and your hero is hailing you as a god - if the voice in your head telling you that you could have done better can never shut up.) in 2007, casey described the early season as 'fantastic' but felt it was no longer so once valentino 'stopped talking' to him... surely it will have been more than valentino's behaviour that could make casey feel so differently. in any casey, whether casey wanted more fun in motogp itself or outside of it - what matters is that he wanted to share something enjoyable on a track with valentino. once upon a time

when casey visits the ranch, a part of him is thinking back to a time when he could have imagined few things sweeter than that sort of recognition and acceptance from his hero. for all of casey's resentment and bitterness towards valentino, for all that he knows how unpleasant life can be as valentino's designated foe, he has always understood the joy that valentino represents within the sport - precisely because that emotion has so often been alien to him. maybe he really did dream of having that kind of fun on the track, imagine it in bed before falling asleep - like valentino, with valentino. when casey goes to the ranch, he is met with unconditional recognition and acceptance on valentino's part. valentino has all in all never been particularly shy in acknowledging casey's talents... it's not just anyone he'd say was 'riding like a god'. still, of course he was a little more careful with casey back in the day, committed first and foremost to figuring out this tricky new puzzle, to besting casey in competition... now, by contrast, valentino can let casey know how much he respects him without any reservation - and casey is ready to listen to what valentino is saying. it's bittersweet because it's what casey always would have wanted. and it's also come too late

[raiiny-bay]

dressing up the boys again pt. 2

[haru-chi]

Manga spoilers ahead

It just hit me now, is the manga taking a break for 3 weeks on purpose to be a poetic timing with the anime episode at the time, or is it pure coincidence ???

By three weeks from now in anime :

1st week we have Himmel and the sword of hero

2nd week Sein first appearance

3rd week we have the mirrored lotus story !!!! I repeat the mirrored lotus story!!!!

in the same week or the week after we'd have the upcoming manga chapter !!

so, you wanna tell me, we're gonna see Himmel's indirect confession of love to Frieren followed by Himmel realizing the impossibility of his dream of marrying Frieren yet again in whatever tragic and evil way the author had in store for us next chapter .. all at the same time or back-to-back !!!!

STOP BULLYING MY HIMMEL LIKE THAT !!! WHATEVER DID HE DO TO DESERVE THIS HELL !!!!! AUTHOR-SAN !!!!

are they torturing Himmel or are they torturing us ?? they're doing this on purpose, aren't they ?? or is this just our destiny to bear ??

I'm not okay at all ><

[dangoulains-devotion]

thinking just a bit too hard about how the added depth given to tifa and aerith's friendship only increases the weight threatening to crush tifa after the forgotten capital, she already had so much to carry on her weary shoulders, she's going to have to carry even more when mideel happens, and it doesn't even stop after meteorfall, ohg od oh i love her so much i

[llycaons]

I mean he made up the name san lang didnt he so in a sense he 'got to' invent his personhood but that speaks to such a deep loneliness and isolation and loss of everything and everyone who's ever loved him or been close to him or even of his culture or the people around him that you'd think the narrative might EXPLORE THAT but nah. he's cool he's cheeky he's fun he's confident he's sexy he's the perfect boyfriend for xl forever and ever amen. he experienced self-esteem issues one (1) time because he thought he was ugly and xl didn't like him :( but he did so it's okay

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

okay i know everyone always assumes that trent would be the one who like is experienced and knows what he's doing and is comfortable in his sexuality and out, while ted... well, i've definitely seen some interpretations where he's plenty comfortable, just not really out, but i think a lot of fan content tends towards it either being something he's repressed or he's literally only just discovered, etc. which is all valid by the way, i'm not knocking that at all, and i totally get why that vibe is what people end up going with. but like. have you considered the opposite. ted is like, pretty comfortable in his sexuality, people just make assumptions because he was married to a woman + his whole vibe of affable midwestern dad and all. trent, though, having assumed he was straight up until now, is having a Full Crisis over apparently his first crush being That Goddamn American Coach With The Ridiculous (And Unfortunately Hot??? Somehow?? Is This What Trent Is Into Now???) Mustache.

[80s-prometheus]

decided to throw my hat in the ring and try making a playlist

it's mostly made up of songs i think lisa and creature would like, songs that I think would fit them, and songs I think fit the vibe of the film

[keepthetension]

still thinking about grief and recovery and support on this show because oh boy did the shows airing this weekend put me in my dead parent feelings i said before i was concerned about how porjai is dealing with her own grief, and this episode we saw her easily talking about rung, and even casually yelling to rung that she misses her! maybe this is me projecting, because i can't do that, but this seems like a pretty healthy place to be, especially contrasted with mhok's relative silence, and i'm glad!

and mhok's silence doesn't come from anger or resentment (which are valid ofc, but i did wonder if imprisonment gave him time to work through this to some degree) but out of protectiveness. i fucking loved this, because it felt so realistic and lived-in. i lost a parent to intimate partner violence, and i NEVER open up about it; people sure have Opinions, and it makes me insane

but day finding out about rung offscreen wasn't on my bingo card, tbh. because we've been with mhok through everything he's found out about day

it doesn't bother me, exactly, but it feels slightly unbalanced, and i suppose what i'm thinking is: knowing what happened to someone doesn't actually tell you how they feel about it, or how it affects them, or how you can support them

mhok found out from that lady sharing personal medical info she had no business sharing about day losing his eyesight in the accident, but he put in the work to understand what it actually meant for day. and in most cases, we've seen day telling mhok about what troubles him in his own words (his crush on auggy, why he was avoiding his friends, etc)

bereavement is probably statistically more common, so i suppose it may not need to be spelled out for an audience? but i am wary, because there have been so many shows where characters are visibly — to me! — struggling with grief and everything else matryoshka-ed in it, but audience reaction simply doesn't factor this in

i'm also thinking about how often mhok tells day a story about himself with the intent of making him smile ("i bought two bracelets just because i had money to spend" "i found this rooftop when i needed to sober up" "my sister called this false rice". i'm certain there are more!). because this is what a caretaker does, or because this is what mhok does, or both?

because this always made me wonder what it would take for mhok to talk about something that wouldn't make day smile, or because he wanted to share. in the former case, it'd have to be something pretty bad!

of course, talking isn't the only way to recovery or intimacy. and mhok going from "i'm breaking up with my devoted gf because i don't want to drag her down with me" to "i'm going to ask you to be my bf" is pretty significant!

but as they navigate the journey from being caretaker and client to being boyfies, the balance has to shift around a bit to them supporting each other, consciously choosing to be there for each other

in this episode what we got was: you only want money to buy that car. and i'm not even mad about this, because this kind of comment is very in line with day's character. but wow. day, i know you're feeling big feelings, but throwing one of the few things you know about mhok's life in his face is. not it!

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread

If I See You Again Tomorrow

YA contemporary/light sci-fi

follows a boy almost a year into a time loop, who has almost given up on finding a way out

until a new boy shows up at his school - which has never happened before - and he’s motivated to step out of his monotony and maybe find a way out

exploring loneliness and social isolation

[cementcornfield]

what a ROLLERCOASTER wow